Learn To Hold Space Well

Have the Relationships you REALLY WANT - learning to hold space well 

Save Their Seat: Holding Space for Peace in Relationships

Friend, there’s this table in your heart—and every person God connects you with has a seat at it.

But sometimes, before they can sit down, the enemy tries to.

Ever had those random, intrusive thoughts about someone? You’re minding your business, then suddenly:

“She’s probably annoyed with you.”

“He’s never going to change.”

“They don’t see you. They don’t value you.”

Before you know it, offense, insecurity, or resentment is sitting in someone else’s spot. And if we’re not careful, we’ll let the enemy steal connection before it ever really begins.

But here’s what God showed me:

“Hold their seat. Don’t let the enemy sit there.”

Don’t Let the Enemy Crash the Table

Psalm 23:5 says, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies…”

But sometimes, those enemies don’t show up in a red suit and horns. They show up in the form of unspoken tension, false assumptions, and old wounds that whisper, “She hurt you,” “He doesn’t care,” or “You’re not safe here.”

But God prepares that table with intentionality.

He chooses who sits with you.

And if He assigned someone to your life—even if just for a season—your job isn’t to judge or guard your heart with suspicion.

Your job is to hold the space.

That means we protect their seat from the lies that try to sneak in.

Bitterness? You can’t sit here.

Insecurity? Nope.

Judgment? Sorry, seat’s taken.

When the Mind Becomes a Battlefield

In 2 Corinthians 10, Paul talks about how we don’t fight the way the world fights.

He says, “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive…”

That hit me hard one day when God told me,

“The key to peace in your relationships is this: Have no opinion other than Mine.”

Whoa. That’s a word.

Because how often do we let our opinions run wild? About our spouse. Our kids. That friend who hurt us. The person at church. The coworker who said that thing.

God’s saying, Ask Me what I think first.

And if your thoughts don’t match His? Kick them out of the chair.

Try This: Write It Out

One day, I felt so overwhelmed by the swirl of thoughts about certain people in my life. So I sat down, took out a piece of paper, and wrote their names.

Next to each name, I wrote the truest, kindest, most beautiful things I could think about them.

“She’s generous.”

“He’s loyal.”

“She’s creative, thoughtful, and kind.”

“He’s funny, hardworking, a good provider.”

Even if I had to dig deep—it was worth it. Because the Word says in Philippians 4:8:

“Whatever is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report… think on these things.”

That verse isn’t just about good vibes—it’s about how we think about people.

And let me tell you: good thoughts bring peace.

If your heart feels tight, anxious, or heavy? Check your thoughts. Chances are, they’re not God’s.

Protect the Seat—Even If They Never Come Back

Not every relationship will last forever. Sometimes people walk away. Sometimes they don’t apologize. And yeah… sometimes you wrestle with forgiveness like it’s a game of emotional musical chairs.

But you still get to choose: Will I let bitterness sit in their seat, or will I keep it open with love?

I had a friend I really grieved over after a painful falling out. I fully expected her to come back and make it right. She didn’t. But you know what? I forgave anyway. I kept her seat open. I wrestled with the enemy for it, but I kept it open.

And one day, the Lord gently changed the name card.

He brought someone new to sit in that space—and my heart was ready, because I didn’t let bitterness claim it.

You’re Free to Love

This is what freedom in Christ looks like.

It looks like holding space.

It looks like having no opinion but God’s.

It looks like letting peace rule, even when things are messy.

It looks like becoming the place where others belong.

You may not be able to control who walks in or out of your life—but you can control who gets a seat at your heart.

Protect the seat.

Fight for peace.

Hold the space.

You’re free to love, friend. That’s what this table is all about.